Just over 13 months ago, my cameras, lenses, and passports were stolen out of my car.
I lost over $6000 worth of equipment and was left with a smashed window on a city street. I yelled, grasped for air, cried, and ran around the block in utter disbelief.
Ironically, I had driven to a meditation session that evening because I was too exhausted to bike, as I would typically.
Why did I leave expensive equipment in the vehicle, you may ask? The day prior to the theft, I had photographed my friends' wedding, and in the following day, I was about to move into another friend's house. I therefore had nearly all of my possessions in the car ready to go. Thankfully, THANKFULLY - earlier that morning I had taken the memory cards out and backed up all of the wedding photos!
I had no insurance on my gear and the coverage for my vehicle was barebones. I turned to social media for help - in looking out for the stolen equipment online and offline. I emailed and called local camera shops to keep an eye out for incoming cameras with my serial numbers. I incessantly searched online marketplaces for listings of my cameras and lenses. A day (or two? it was a period of complete time warp) later, a friend in California found a suspicious and familiar listing on Seattle Craigslist. The serial number and appearance both checked out. Bingo.
For the following several days, I was obsessed with the idea of tracking this person down. For justice. To get my belongings back. To make things right again. I dreamed of meeting up with this "seller," laying it down on their face, and rightfully snatching back what's mine. Food didn't taste like anything anymore. Water and air was just for survival, until I get the next text or lead that I could bring myself one step closer to meeting up with this person that had stolen so much from me.
Alas, despite multiple attempts with different phone numbers and offers, we lost this "seller" into the ether. The police was unwilling to help without a planned physical meetup. I lost sleep, was anxious and depressed day in and day out. It wore me out heavily.
Worse, because my passports were also taken, I would have been unable to travel out of the country (remember, this was 2019, not 2020 😜) for a wedding gig overseas just a month later. I swiftly filed a stolen passport report and filed (and paid a hefty sum) for a replacement. Time was ticking.
As I steadily accepted the reality that the only way forward is to accept what's gone, I also steadily regained my sense of self. With the help of friends near and far, along with meditation and teachings by great teachers of the past and present, I was reminded of all that I still (and will always) have - my able body, life skills, my meaningful connections, nurturing friendships, diverse experiences, stories, and much more than just my basic needs of shelter, food, water, and air. I was reminded that no matter what physical possessions and objects are ripped from me with or without my consent, I am inherently the same person. My multi-thousand dollar camera rig didn't (and doesn't) define me, nor do the visa stamps in my passports. All that I've gained since I picked up my first camera and embarked on that first international trip are embedded into my very being. I am who I am in part due to the human experiences, not the human-made objects.
So I wrote a letter to the thief (for those who haven't read it and are curious, here it is). I expressed my pain and perspective on what the stolen gear meant to me and my community. I wondered about how life had led that person to commit that act towards another person. As I wrote, the bottled up anger subsided to give way for empathy, release, and finally, peace.
And thus began a new chapter of acceptance and healing. Friends and even humans I hardly know or talked to came out of the blue to pitch in on my crowdfunding campaign. Folks wrote to me, called me directly, left me sweet messages, all to help guide me forward. And I really needed and appreciate it all because I'll be very open and honest - $6000 is an astronomical sum of money to me. I've earned less than that since this calendar year began, and even with 2019 being my most successful professional year (financially speaking), this was a blow that drastically shifted all of my spending and life choices.
Even though it's been over a year since this incident, I can still feel emotionally scarred from the break-in. The violation was surreal and sadly I do not believe I'll forget this.
It's been a long process with lots of unforeseen events (this year has been all about that for just about everybody!). What I am happy to report is that, with the help of dozens of people through the GoFundMe campaign last autumn, as well as friends and clients who have hired me for gigs until right before the pandemic, I was able to over this past winter assemble the majority of my kit back together. And today, largely due to the continued support of you kind folks on patreon (while scoring some killer deals on used/previously-loved gear), and I now have a full kit that allows me to create as much if not more than before.
Now, allow me to further work on myself - the biggest obstacle I've continuously faced - to keep my sense of self grounded, humble, while always striving for growth and sustained joy.
A heartfelt and special shoutout to Anica in becoming the latest and 50th(!) patron, to my cousin Jackie in hopping into the inner circle last week, and no doubt gratitude owed to Alyson, my sista from a different mother, in choosing to support me especially through these chaotic times.
With gratitude on this day I felt blue, then thought of all of you,
Jonathan
PS: As I continue to evaluate my relationship with social media and the impact it can have on my psychic and well-being, one thing that is certain is the shift of my attention and energy on creating content for my patreon supporters first, social media second. Although a portion of what I'll write, shoot, edit, and reshare will make it to FB + Insta as well, the best way to ensure receiving content by me is to become a supporter on patreon, and/or sign up for my (soon to be available) email list - free, of course! Regardless, I thank you for your attention and support in whatever shape or form you've given me through the years. 🙏
copied and adjusted from the original patreon post here.
